Harvard, Here We Come

Hello, darlings! I am the type of person who goes to bed at one and wakes up at one. It's not a terrible way to live, let me tell ya. Last night, however, I watched a Streetcar Named Desire. It's my favorite movie of all time, and I love it immeasurably, but it puts me to sleep. It was six o'clock, and I was so tired. I'll just take a nap. A small nap, and wake up in a half hour. I didn't wake up until midnight, and by then I was too tired to attempt to get up. So I went back to sleep, and woke up at nine. I actually had a panic attack because I didn't know how I would possibly fill up the extra hours, but somehow I managed. But I was bored. Booooorrrrreeeedd. I finished watching Streetcar, got my eyebrows done, listened to my iPod, read August: Osage County, and then watched a little bit of Cabaret. Now I'm just sitting here at my computer, spinning myself around in my chair. But that's not why I'm blogging. No, friends, I am actually here by request. I overheard a rather interesting conversation on the bus yesterday morning, and then repeated the aforementioned conversation to a Certain Person. Certain Person suggested that I tell the whole world about the epic exchange, so here I am, flexing my fingers and preparing to tell you all the saga.

Alright. Here we go. So I was sitting on the bus yesterday, and, since my iPod had lost power in the middle of The Night that Goldman Spoke at Union Square, I took to listening to the conversations that were going on around me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard, "Do 'moon' and 'room' rhyme?" Well, I could tell right away that this one was gonna be a doozy. I pulled my backpack onto my lap and positioned my head to better hear what was sure to be a perfectly marvelous monologue. Five minutes later, the girl who had brought up this very deep, philosophical topic and the friend who had refuted her theory were still debating the topic. When they settled upon the conclusion that moon and room do not, in fact, rhyme, they veered onto another SAT-worthy conversation. Girl One started rambling about how her bass (instrument, not fish) was getting married to her best friend's guitar, and they were going to have a whole ceremony and party and invite other instruments. Girl Two found this to be a perfectly marvelous idea. By then I had come to the conclusion that these girls were either very, very stupid or very, very lonely. After that topic was dropped, they really went in for the kill. Girl One asked, "You know how when you write XOXOXO on a card, and it means hugs and kisses? The X stands for a hug because you say it first, right? And the O stands for a kiss? Right?" Oh. My. God. These girls are really headed for a Pulitzer each, aren't they? Now, I'm not going to pretend to know WHY society has fallen to writing out this abbreviation in place of actual hugs and kisses, but I'm going to venture to say the O stands for a hug, since hugs are round. But that's just my reasoning.

And you all wonder why I worry about the future state of America.