Vacation!

Well, guess where I'm going from July 13 to July 18. Disney World. It was a birthday present. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but here's the thing, folks: I wanted a bunny. I was all set to get a black bunny and name it Patti LuPone, but a trip to Disney is a good present, too. I'm staying at the Port Orleans French Quarter Resort.

It's very A Streetcar Named Desire, don't you think? Except nobody's crazy and Marlon Brando isn't standing at the bottom of the stairs screaming, "HEY STEEEELLLLLAAAA!!!!" Well, I'm just pleased as punch. Seriously, I'm wearing my excited face right now. Plus, it's just ginger peachy that we're taking my ole chum Maisie with us. We had a fantabulous time on our 2006 trip to Disney. That trip was just riddled with great memories: me smashing my head getting off one of the rides, riding Expedition Everest and then getting hopelessly lost afterwards, the torrential downpour, the waterbugs in the hotel room, the ridiculous ripoff that was Test Track, and riding It's a Small World, wary of the smiling dolls with the wide-open eyes who could turn on you at any second. Oh, and the icing on the cake: Maisie, my brother and I attempting to be brave by going through The Haunted Mansion. All I remember of that ride is the three of us clutching each other and screaming. I don't care what anybody says, that IS a scary ride. The whole trip was a complete disaster, and I have never had so much fun in my entire life.

Anyway, a week from now I will be sitting in the aptly named Broadway Theatre, seeing Shrek the Musical. Usually, my affinity for the obscure, artsy and offbeat would make me avoid this show like a revival of In My Life. Let's make one thing abundantly clear: I am going to see this show solely for the cast.

This is Brian d'Arcy James. He is my second-favorite male Broadway actor, after Lin-Manuel Miranda. He plays Shrek. I saw him as Dan, the haggard husband of a mentally ill woman in Next to Normal last spring. I am slightly worried that I will not recognize him without Alice Ripley throwing forks at his head. Good times, good times.

This here fella on the right is John Tartaglia. Obviously, I am talking about the guy, not the puppet. He plays Pinocchio. I've actually never seen him perform, but I'm still excited to see him.

And here we have Sutton Foster. She plays Princess Fiona, and she is absolutely brilliant. I haven't seen her perform since her Little Women days, and I can't wait. Little Women has the dubious honor of being the first show I was ever obsessed with. I saw it five times. Three years later, I am beginning to realize that it was actually a pretty awful show, but I still love it. And there were people who still loved George Bush after Hurricane Katrina, so nobody gets to point fingers at me.