The Aftermath

It's been less than 48 hours since the Tonys, and already Guys and Dolls and reasons to be pretty have gone to the chopping block. That oughta show YOU, producers who think you can make a buck tossing a B-list Hollywood actor into a mediocre show! Also, I'd like to point out that Next to Normal sold 99% of its tickets last week. I'd also like to point out that their neighbor Billy only sold 98%. Huh. A small victory, but a victory just the same. Love it love it love it. Maybe Next to Normal won't be a flop after all. I was practically dancing around the living room when they got Best Score. The immature, vindictive part of me was half-hoping that Tom Kitt would get up there, grab the mike, and say, "How about that? You don't wanna break shit with ME, muthaf*cka!" Alas, he and Mr. Yorkey are better than that.

And Alice. Oh, Ms. Ripley. Your bizarre speech entertained me more than it should have. At first I was a little bewildered by the screaming, but then it made total sense! We all know how god-awful the sound was, so instead of risking another mic incident, such as the one that befell Tituss Burgess, she just decided to get up there and scream. As I previously mentioned, everything has more oomph when you SCREAM IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS. I think it was an utterly ingenius decision. I love this picture of her and the Tony which she wholly deserved. It is possible that I love this picture more than the one of pothead Kristen Stewart. May I take a moment to point out that Alice Ripley was one of the night's best dressed? Some people got it, some people don't. (Don't pretend you can't hear me, Patti. I haven't forgotten the dress you wore last year.)

While we're on the subject of fashion, I have to say that I was very excited to see what the Hair tribe would be wearing. Some of it was lovely. Some of it was not. We're gonna start with the good stuff and work our way down. On the far right is the director, Diane Paulus. I must say how much I loved her dress. She would have looked so beautiful up there accepting her Tony. Second from the left is Sasha Allen, looking utterly fierce. Chasten Harmon is next to her. Chasten Harmon forgot to get dressed. "Ain't go no outfit. Burned it burned it burned it." I'm sorry. I just had to.

Here on the right we have the leading ladies, sans Sasha Allen. From left to right it's Megan Lawrence, Caissie Levy, Allison Case, and Kacie Sheik. Okay, I have several issues. Megan Lawrence- it would have worked if you hadn't curled you hair quite so tightly. Kacie Sheik- it's a pretty color, but you ODed on the ruffles. Allison Case- I'm assuming you picked that color to go with your hair. How very original. Caissie Levy- not the color I would have chosen, but you look great. See? Wonderful things happen when you don't straighten your hair.

Here we have Talent, Looks, and Class. And John Stamos. Gavin Creel and Will Swenson: The biggest bromance since Peter and Jesus.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that the audio for Sunday's ceremony was just supercalifragilisticexpialatrocious. It is so a word. If you rewatch that amazing opening on Youtube, listen closely during the beginning of the West Side Story portion. You'll hear Josefina Scaglione, who obviously didn't know her mic was live, trilling backstage.

And, of course, you're nobody till Broadway Abridged makes fun of you. http://www.broadwayabridged.com/scripts/tonys2009.shtml Oh, what that man did with August: Osage County. Anyway, this is my favorite part: "We see the company of HAIR perform the ONLY OTHER DECENT MUSICAL PERFORMANCE TONIGHT. Pay special attention to the redhead giving Uncle Jesse a lapdance!" Oh, Lord. I just rewatched the video, and it's true. Thanks for ruining it for me, Broadway Abridged. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1GzYCsoVv4