Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Desperate Woman

So let's start this one off with my admission that I am not proud of what I have done, okay? There's no need to be getting on me for this, for I've done worse things in the past.

It is no secret that I am dying to see Ragtime. I have been doing everything in my power to get myself there. On Saturday afternoon, I went a bit too far. I was in the theatre district, so I thought I'd mozy on over to the Neil Simon and very politely ask for a Playbill. The darling ushers gave it to me, and I hung around a bit to check ticket prices. And then I heard something. The show was going on inside the auditorium, and they were up to Atlantic City. I love me some Atlantic City. So I poked my head in. This was immoral. This was illegal. It was technically stealing. Good Lord, mine eyes dazzled. I started to cry when Evelyn Nesbit started her solo. It is as lovely and beautiful as I thought it would be, if any production can be judged by just one number. If at all possible, I'm even more excited to see it now.

This morning I was almost attacked by a possum. It was not fun. We'll leave it at that.

To wrap it up, here we have Maria Callas. Isn't she darling? Almost as pretty as Vivien Leigh. Almost, but not quite. Anyway, I consider Vivien Leigh to be the most beautiful woman to have ever lived. I don't particularly care that her performance as Blanche DuBois was based in her own history of bipolar disorder. Lady Olivier was the best. The absolute best.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Shrek is on its way out.

I'm super excited for Halloween.

And there are less than 24 hours to go. I wish the cast and crew of Ragtime the absolute best in this second venture to Broadway. Please, everyone go see this wonderful show. You won't regret it. Let the new day dawn, the new era begin, and let's hear that ragtime piano that I love so much.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Blogging Without Scruples

See Jane abandon her morals to get what she wants. See Jane manipulate others mercilessly for her own selfish purposes. See Jane burn in hell.*

*I'm Jane.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

And Everything was RAGTIME

No verdict yet on the O'Malley vs. Sense of Self Worth case. But today is October 13. To bastardize some Ragtime lyrics - "And then were only ten days to go!" I don't know yet when I'll be able to see it, but I'll be god-damned if I don't go. I don't think I've ever been quite so excited to see a show. Well, that's not entirely true. After a summer of waiting and anticipating, I was practically busting down the door to get into Spring Awakening. Still, I am nonetheless jumping out of my skin.

Even the Prologue alone is a work of art. That little piano theme, the "bah dup bah dup bah da da" that repeats itself throughout the whole show, is ingenious. What a Game is hilarious and Wheels of a Dream is heartbreaking, and Atlantic City is utterly hummable. Just some of the gems from a score that knocks it out of the park.

Before I go, I thought I'd mention that Next to Normal is actually beating Hair percentage-wise. I hope Hair can hang on, but go, little sleeper hit, go.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A Dilemma

I have an issue. It is a small issue. Here it is: I am no Wicked fan. There is no need for me to say that to any of you, because God knows I've said it enough in the past. I am, however, a big fan of Brynn O'Malley. She's taking over as Nessa on the tour. Do I go see her? I don't know if I'm willing to shell out any amount of money to sit through Wicked again. There are better things I could be seeing. But doesn't she look just darling in headbands and a wheelchair? I know I've said that Lea Michele is the only person who could ever get me back to Wicked, but I've come to the conclusion that Broadway will never get her back. This, friends, is what we call The Next Best Thing. While I was typing that, it occurred to me that Brynn would have been a great Wendla, and an even better Mary Poppins. She's one of those underrated treasures, like Allison Guinn or Kacie Sheik. So my mind is as yet un-made up.

On a similar note, I've updated my fall roster. My list of prospective shows for this fall now includes:

The Royal Family
God of Carnage
Superior Donuts
Next to Normal

Santa Claus, take your pick.

I think today I will be dragging Maisie to the movies with me. Last week we saw Whip It, which was, for the record, great. Ellen Page is my freaking hero. This week's movie du jour is Paranormal Activity. I'm not really into horror movies, but I want to see for myself if it's really that scary. It's pretty easy to scare me, and I love scaring other people. I once hid in my grandmother's closet for two hours just to scare my brother when he went to get his coat. Two hours spent smelling mothballs and trying not to laugh were worth it just to hear the scream. I'm hopelessly immature.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


So apparently NASA says that some time in the next two years there will be a solar flare that will kill us all. Ruh-roh. I guess that means I have less than two years to do all the things I've always wanted. As of now, that includes:

1. Go to Amsterdam.
2. Play : Sally Bowles
Mrs. Lovett
Barbara Fordham
Blanche DuBois
Little Red
Momma Rose
Miss Electra
Evelyn Nesbit
Diana Goodman
3. See Ragtime.
4. Live long enough to see Wicked close.
5. Get yelled at by Patti LuPone.
6. Meet someone who is actually named Frank Mills.
7. Not be absolutely awful at the piano.
8. Bike the World's Most Dangerous Road.
9. Sky-dive.
10. Go parasailing.
11. Own a bunny.
12. Time travel.
13. Meet: Barack Obama, Olivia de Havilland, Stephen Sondheim, Hal Prince, and Liza
14. Learn French.
15. Some day see a Spring Awakening revival.

...and one for Mahler. Okay, so I don't actually know if this 'we're all getting burned to a crisp' thing is true. But still. I have some bad news. You are going to die. And I am going to die. The one thing I always tell myself is, "Start by admitting from cradle to tomb, it isn't that long a stay." Indeed it is not. Plan accordingly.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Moving Fast

Today is October 7. Two years since I first saw Spring Awakening, and now I'm sitting here watching Lea Michele on Glee. It's so insane how far someone can go in just two years. She's going to be a star now, and Broadway ain't never getting her back. But she was a Broadway actress first. And I think that's harder than doing TV or film. So there.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Part of That

Hello, darlings. So recently I revealed a pretty big secret to someone who probably never saw it coming. But I can't take it back. Who can ever take anything back? It's happened, it's real, accept it and move on. That's a skill I developed pretty early in life.

So here's my Halloween costume. It's a clown, obviously. So far, everyone that I've shown it to hates it. They say it's "too loud" or "ridiculous." I say they can all go to hell. I'm the one who's going to wear it, so why I am asking their opinion, anyway? I'm slowly training myself not to care what other people think. So far, it's proven to be tremendously useful. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I'm an eight-year-old at heart, and I love playing dress-up. Always have. I've had some great costumes - the bumble bee, can can dancer, flapper, movie star, etc. And the cow. I was a cow once. Moo moo, motherf-cker.
Less than a month to Ragtime, and I am so excited I could jump out of my skin. Ragtime is coming back. I'm going to get to see it, in all its historically inaccurate glory. Think of it. I'm finally going to get to see Ragtime. In twenty years, I'll be able to say that I was there. I was a part of that. I witnessed it. I also have a feeling that seeing Alice Ripley in Next to Normal will be something to brag about in the years to come. There's never been anything like it. I don't care how good Merman in Gypsy was. Ripley in Next to Normal is the best performance we've had in decades. So Patti LuPone can just suck on that.
What else? Ah, yes! Sondheim on Sondheim! Even the name sounds utterly magical, no? So apparently there's a show that's basically a compilation of Sondheim songs coming down the track. It's got Barbara Cook and Leslie Kritzer. I'm there, and I'm bursting at the seams for this one. It's gonna be a good year.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Yes, I HAVE Lost it at Last

Yes, she took it down because she's an over-zealous bitch who doesn't deserve friends and doesn't care about anyone but herself. In case you're wondering, this is what I looked like as a baby. My undeserved sense of superiority and I are very sorry.