Sunday, June 27, 2010

Moving On

I guess I'm not all that cut up about Hair. Still, I'm wearing a sundress and my purple flower pendant to American Idiot. Old habits die hard. Sigh. What does it say about me that I'm most excited about being able to write on the walls at the theatre? Jesus, it's a luxury I've never known. I'm no Rent fan. What should I write? I've been considering:

3. EFF U MEMPHIS (Kidding. I would never.)

And of course it will be in ALL CAPS LIKE THIS AND POSSIBLY IN BUBBLE LETTERS. I learned that from someone else (I WON'T SAY ALICE RIPLEY.) Lately I've come to the conclusion that she isn't crazy. She's just a very lovely, very ordinary, very bored lady.

I am going to miss Hair. I'm gonna miss the music and the lights and the laughs and the tears and the joy that fills your lungs up with helium and turns your legs to jelly. There are things I won't remember, but there are things I'll never forget. I'm not sorry I'm not there, though. I'm just sorry that it had to end at all. Leave it be and let it end.

Life is sunny life is gravy. Thank you Jesus, thank you navy.

Sad Face

Hair's closing today, and I'm not going to be there. I've never missed this closing of a show I love this much. Here's the thing- for me, Hair closed when the original tribe left, or at least it should have. At least then they would have gone out with some dignity. And I was there for that at least. Ah, well. Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace. Sending all my love to the Hirschfeld.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Life is Funny

From here on in, I am using that picture EVERY SINGLE CHANCE I GET. Someone says something stupid on Broadwayworld - BAM! JENN DAMIANO IS NOT AMUSED. Confession - I think I've met her like twice, but I am just a teensy bit scared of her. She looks like she could grow up to be the next LuPone.

Darling Mumsy (I hate myself) has surprised me with end-of-the-year American Idiot tickets. (Lenora don't hate me.) Very excited, except I freaking hate the St. James. It's my least favorite theatre, next to the busted-ass Majestic. Word has it that you can write on the walls now? I'm gonna go in there and write "Stop taking pictures." Maybe someone will get it. Still, very excited. Haven't had a day with Mummy in a long time, and maybe I'll finally be able to try that Cajun place on 46th. Or maybe I can just go to Junior's, buy a slab o' strawberry cheesecake and fill my iced tea up with six pounds of sugar like I always do. The possibilites are almost endless. Gonna be a blast from the past seeing John Gallagher go on again. No matter how hard I try, I'll probably only be able to see the spastic suicidal German kid, God rest him.

So I've got a new favorite Sondheim song - Could I Leave You? I never knew Follies came after Company. Idjit. Anyway, it's a hilarious song. You bet your ass. Sondheim likes that phrase. So do I.

My New Favorite Thing

Jenn Damiano does not approve.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Woody and Tinny

In my years of writing and liftetime of talking, I've developed a passion and a tremendous distaste for words. When you're up at four in the morning lying on the kitchen floor because you dropped an eighty-page manuscript on your way back from the printer, you come across words. And you learn to love and hate them. Duck and strap in, folks. It's time for another list.


refresh and all its variations

Or maybe I'm just talking to myself again.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Not a Day Goes By

When's the day I'll have started forgetting?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Lovely Ladies

Broadway is full of nobodies. Go into a sports bar and say Alice Ripley. See what happens. Back yet? Ok. But here's the thing - there are Nobodies of Broadway, and that's when you know you're really in bad shape. The chorus girls, the Guy Who Went On Once For Sweeney in 1980, and all the Wicked swings and understudies. It's a shame, though. Some people are truly, truly talented and never really get a chance to step into the spotlight. In this day and age, unless you count Nathan Lane, most of the leading Broadway performers are big belting women. I guess they love their divas. But really, stop to consider:

Brynn O'Malley
Vianne Cox
Phoebe Strole
Lynette Perry
Leigh Ann Larkin
Leslie Kritzer
Kacie Sheik
Tonya Pinkins
Leenya Rideout
Heather Laws

Not a Tony among them. Of course the divas are talented, and I'm not trying to kick Audra or Bebe in the face here. I'm just shifting the spotlight a bit. No harm in that.

Monday, June 14, 2010


Can we all agree that the Tonys sucked this year? Let's pick out some particular lowlights, shall we?

1. Idina Menzel shushing the Ragtime fans.
2. Catherine Zeta Jones making it look like Desiree had a nervous twitch.
3. Katie Finneran is not Karine Plantadit. Sorry, she's just not.
4. The best play eff up.

1. Katie Finneran
2. Angela Lansbury
3. Bebe
4. CZJ
5. Lea Michele

1. Cathy Zuber
2. Bernadette Peters
3. Christiane Noll
4. Katie Holmes
5. Barbara Cook

And Alice did not present. Maybe we are lucky for that. Ah, well. Maybe next season won't be so goddamn lackluster.

On the plus side, I did see Sondheim on Sondheim yesterday afternoon. It was nice to see Barbara Cook, even if she did not do much. I never knew what a great show Merrily We Roll Along is. Norm Lewis is brilliant. Being Alive was the very best part of the show. It was the kind of moment that brings me to the edge of my seat and twists my insides around until I'm wound up tight as a spring and practically choking on my tongue. Moments like that are rare.

The intensity is what makes it all worth it. The first time I saw Hair, I ripped my Playbill to shreds during the be-in. I don't get why people go to the theatre expecting to forget their problems. It doesn't make a bit of difference to anybody if you come out the way you went in, does it?

Saturday, June 12, 2010


Feeling depressed. My Tony party's tomorrow night. I need to clean up and wrap the presents. So I just finished listening to the entire score of Caroline, or Change. I wish I had seen it. But it got me thinking. What are the saddest songs I know?

Another Winter in a Summer Town - Grey Gardens
Make Them Hear You - Ragtime
Underwater - Caroline, or Change
My Child Will Forgive Me - Parade
At the Glen - Dessa Rose
So Anyway - Next to Normal
Left Behind - Spring Awakening
Sunday - Sunday in the Park

No, I did not just push my chair back and lean over to mentally scan my CD collection. The very nerve.

Not so excited for the Tonys. Christiane Noll is not going to win. Neither is Ragtime. Sorry, Lenora, but neither is Sherrie. But I get to see Christiane Noll do Back to Before. I'll cry. Alice Ripley's presenting. Oh, dear. I am genuinely scared for her, and a little scared of her. She's been getting increasingly erratic these days. I'm scared of what she'll get up there and say, though I don't see how she could possibly make it any worse for herself than she already did. Her actions are forgiven but not so easily forgotten.

Now that school's out it's time for me to start arranging my summer docket. Tomorrow's Sondheim on Sondheim, and then I've got:

Next to Normal
Everyday Rapture
American Idiot

Sigh. It was a lackluster season, I am thinking. Oh, and I can't forget Night Music. No missing Elaine Stritch. No missing Leigh Ann Larkin's Miller's Son. No missing Ramona Mallory sing from the back of her throat.

Lenora got president of the drama club, but now they need a show. I've pitched

Sunday in the Park

They've all been shot down mericlessly. It's gonna end up being High School Musical. Lord save us. Because really, God knows we can't put any effort into this. All-girls school means we always end up doing a ridiculously girl-heavy show. Night Music could have worked. Damn you, revival. Damn you, scaredy cat director. It's not impossible for a high school to get Sondheim right. I've seen it happen more than once.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

God Damn It

Yes, I did. Yes, I am. No, I won't be.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

BAU as usual? Can we all just go back to hating Rush Limbaugh now? Ewwwww grosssss. Fat son of bitching Vicodin-sopping idjit.

Got word today that Annie and Funny Girl are coming back. I could do without Little Red, but Funny Girl is a big deal. Most people are gonna call for Stephanie J. Block or Lea Michele. I don't know who I'm backing just yet. Also found out that Jennifer Damiano is also leaving on July 18. Should be a fun night, save the pop-eyed freshman who stalks me and thinks I'll be Gabe for Halloween just so she can be Diana. I swear to God that kid just shows up out of nowhere. Today she asked me if I had seen Ripley's new hair color yet. Wait, what?! WHAT?! How the eff could you possibly know that? Did you bribe the hairdresser like in Sunset Boulevard? I tell you, it's goddamn terrifying. If this kid's not Broadwayspotted, I don't know who is. I wonder what would happen if I asked her if she thinks Elaine Stritch will be a good Madame Armfeldt. I don't know, maybe a nuclear sinkhole would form or something.


Alice Ripley Hey guys- I just want to say how sorry I am for my recent post. It was careless and thoughtless and I assure you it is not a reflection of the way I really feel. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve always supported the gay community and will continue to do so. I’m embarrassed and I apologize.

Good girl. Okay. Now that THAT'S over with, this old girl has some clarifications of her own to make. I told the people who were angered by Ripley's comment to "chill the hell out." I don't take that back. Everyone was caught up in the tumult, including myself. We ALL needed to chill the hell out. Anyway, I was told to go fuck myself. But I certainly was not trying to demean homosexuals or discount anyone's past struggles. I know what it's like, okay? I don't know anyone's personal history, but I know what it's like to feel victimized. Poor me, right? But I did get out of line, and so did Ripley, and so did everyone else. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep a more level head.

Problem is I think everyone has some issue that they're sensitive, or hypersensitive about, deservedly so. Okay, here I go - I've had depression for the past three years, and I was always ashamed of that, but I'm not here to whine about my easy life. I'm just trying to tell you that I KNOW what it's like to be alert for every insult and behavioral quirk. I cannot count how many times I have been called crazy, most times by my own family members. And I still remember how my blood used to boil. This cannot be compared to physical violence, and three years is not a lifetime, I know, but the underlying concepts are the same. Was I out of line in saying gays are hypersensitive? Yes. But is everyone who makes an off-the-cuff, angry, but still inappropriate remark a hell-bent homophobe? I'm inclined not to think so. Bottom line: Yes, people, myself included, needed to chill the hell out. But that remark was directed towards those who wanted to storm Shubert Alley with signs and bullhorns, not the long-suffering gay community. Trust me, folks. I am with you. And I am sorry.

To be perfectly honest, I'm just amazed that people care enough to read my stupid blog.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Oh, Jesus

RATS IN THE STREETS AND THE LUNATICS YELLING AT THE MOON IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! And the crowd goes wild over Alice Ripley's perceived homophobia. Honestly, everyone, chill the hell out. She is not perfect. I am not perfect. You are not perfect.

Here's my take on it - she was angry, she was humiliated and she made an angry, inappropriate, and unthinking remark that a hypersensitized community took as a personal attack. That said, I do think she's taking it a little far now. Honestly, if she would just apologize everyone would let it go. But no, she's going on, head held high and defiant to the very end. Some zealots are planning on staging a demonstration in the alley. "ALICE HATES FAGS." Except for she really doesn't.

The problem is that she's completely herself, and nobody else really ever is. If I went around saying what I really thought, what would happen to me? If we're being perfectly honest, I don't think she's crazy. I don't think she does drugs. But sometimes I wonder if she realizes how she comes off to other people. I'm reminded of Dotty's part from the Moon Trio, which is beautiful.

"Now it seems you come to some confusion/You're losin' courage/You're losing light/lost your old shine/lost Caroliiiiiiine."

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Want Some Ice For That Burn?


Alice Ripley BURN. Nobody's been owned that badly since Patti caught that guy taking pictures. It's all so perfectly marvelous. So if you're out there crawling the internet, Alice, we've got nothing but non-creepy love for you over here. (Saw the lovely lady in the alley today while shopping for Tony presents. Was too shy to say anything.)

Friday, June 4, 2010

Grand Theft Miller

Sitting up here in the school library. The other girls are on Sporcle or applying wart remover, but I looked over at the bookcase next to me and what did I see? The Complete Works of Arthur Miller, and I've never read A View from the Bridge. So I took it and am now leafing through it. The librarian is glaring at me, but what good's it doing sitting there on the shelf? Anyway, there's not much point to a book unless there's somebody to read it.

Shattering news - I can't take a writing class in the city because I'm not 18 yet. Here's the thing - there are adults on inkpop. They shouldn't be there, but they are. And I'm better than they are. I know I am. The person looking to knock me out of the top ten is a fellow Guilty One. I've probably talked with her, laughed with her, sat next to her while we both screamed our lungs out. But my book is my baby. I brought it into this world, there's nobody else who knows it like I do, or who can fight for it like I do. So if you push me, I'll choose my loyalty to my work over my love for Spring Awakening. This is my craft, and I can't have another. Back to Mr. Miller.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Forever Golden

RIP Rue McClanahan. Another Golden Girl gone to her rest. She was 76, like my beloved nanny who passed away three weeks ago. The two of us shared a love of the show, even if we disagreed viciously on who was the best. (It was Dorothy, goddammit. No cranky old lady in long johns is gonna convince me that it's Rose.) I like to think that Nan's the fifth golden girl. Anyway, this is a sad day. Give her my love, Nan. Journey on.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Freaking Inkpop Idiots don't know recognize Sylvia Plath and don't know her when I talk about her. I bet if I had posted a picture of their goddess Sarah Dessen they would have gotten it in under a minute.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Calming Down

Ok, so this inkpop thing really grinds my gears. To calm myself down I'll do a list.

Theatre Characters I'd Like to Meet

Diana - Next to Normal
Dot - Sunday in the Park
Berger - Hair
Jeanie - Hair
Barbara - August: Osage County
Jenny - Company
Joanne - Company
Petra - Night Music
Bobby - Company
Anita - West Side Story
Maggie - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Blanche - Streetcar
Norma - Sunset Boulevard
Mother - Ragtime
Caroline- Caroline, or Change
Johnny - American Idiot
Melchior - Spring Awakening
Carlotta - Follies

I wonder what would happen if you put all these people in a room together. Probably nothing good.


And my goddamn book falls again. I hate inkpop and I hate the people on it and I hate their vampire books and I hate that they step on anything with substance. I honestly cannot take these Inkpop Idiots anymore. I don't want your help and I don't want your encouragement. Everybody mind your own son of a bitching business.