Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Haz A Angree

Sorry 'bout the title. Only LOLCatspeak could convey my not-happiness at the moment. My dearest darlingest bestest friends in the whole entire world have bailed on plans that we've had for weeks. Oh, well. To quote my favorite angst-ridden German teen (doesn't everyone have one of those?): "Just f-ck it, right?" As a matter of fact, let's see how far we can run with this... Okay, here we go: Momma Rose, Gypsy: "Let 'em walk. Let 'em ALL walk. I don't need 'em. They need me." Okay, so that's not really true at all, but the temptation to quote Gypsy was too great. Well, it doesn't matter. I'm freakin' Cinderella, and I'm still gonna go to the goddamn ball. So there.

Reason #2 why I haz a angree: That dumb-ass McCain and his adorable little marionette Sarah Palin. Everytime either of them uses the word "maverick", "drill", or "troops" I die a little inside. I have tried very hard to discern who's stupider, and I've come to the conclusion that it's Palin. If the right-wing freakos get elected and Old Man McSame puts her in charge of energy, well, to quote a very wise friend, "Say good-bye to Alaska." Yeah, it's true that nobody lives there, but the moose are just screwed. Poor chaps.

Reason # 3 why I haz a angree: Lifetime. Does anyone who's not a very lonely forty-year-old woman watch this channel? If you've never endured this abomination of a channel, let me ruin it for you: Someone gets raped in every single movie. There is always a dominating male character. The aforementioned dominating man will, inevitably, be killed by the victimized woman to avenge her rape/kidnapping/spousal abuse. At night. In the rain. In an environment that is mysterioulsy devoid of all other human beings.

Reason #4 why I haz a angree: The literary state of our nation is pitiful. Let's have a show of hands. Who out there has read a book in the last five years that was not written by Stephenie Meyer, J.K. Rowling, Dan Brown, Danielle Steel, or Mitch Albom? In the last five years, who's read a classic without being forced to do so? Huh. That's what I thought. Okay, folks. Put down the Tiger Beat and go out and read Gone With the Wind. We will all be better for it.

Hopefully the next time I drop in here I will not haz a angree.

1 comment:

sing~A~ling said...

haha......"Good bye Alaska".... I said!