Wednesday, October 8, 2008


Oh, sweet Jesus! I just read something online that is too freaking good not to share with you guys! Guess what! No, seriously, guess. Think of the most ridiculous thing that could ever happen, and I guarantee my news will be ridiculous-er. Okay. You folks ready? Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant AGAIN. Isn't one screaming brat enough for her and her hillbilly boyfriend? Did these people sleep through health class? Or what about Juno? Didn't they see Juno? I liked Juno. For the skeptics among us, take a look. Sure, it's IMDB, which is about as reliable as Wikipedia, but still. I love that article too much to express in words. The economy is collapsing, Osama bin Laden is still on the loose, and yet some hick from Lousiana is stupid enough to get pregnant a second time and it's national news. Oh, that article slays me. My favorite part is the part where they say the boyfriend doesn't know yet. Well, I'll venture to guess that he knows now. Poor chap. Just leave Little Sally the Super-Fertile now and get on with your life. Seriously, though, I think I am being a tad hard on poor little Jamie Lynn. The blame really belongs with her parents. Did they not slap her hard enough the first time? Or were they too busy wig shopping with Britney?

Not to veer to far away from the main idea of this whole blog, though, this would totally make a great musical. Let's see: We've got teen pregnancy, which is totally Spring Awakening, a mentally unstable person, which is straight out of Next to Normal, and this whole situation just screams "freak show", which is rather Side Show-esque. I see it now: Coming to Broadway in 2011, a saga of a family torn apart by stupidity: NEXT TO AWAKENING THE SIDE SHOW! Featuring such hits as the opening number "Fall From Grace", the show-stopping "Pillbox Tango", the powerful ballad "What's the Worst That Could Happen?" sung on the night Jamie Lynn gets pregnant, and the powerful act one closer "Leave Britney Alone!" It'll run forever.

Well, it's been fun, chickadees (I cannot believe I just used that word), but I am rapidly running out of things to blog about. I suppose it won't be long until this whole thing goes down in a blaze of glory.

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