Sunday, January 11, 2009

Happy Freaking Birthday

Well, folks, I am breaking one of my own rules and posting two days in a row. I have not broken this rule since the epic Kristen Stewart Smoking Pot in Broad Daylight episode back in November. Last night, soon after I finished blogging, I was called downstairs and told to take a shower, put on my pretty black-and-cranberry dress, and wear more makeup than is earthly possible for a human being's face to endure. Everyone was in quite a tizzy, and going out of their way to create alibis for themselves. So we trekked out into the snow, piled into the trusty Sienna, and sped away. We finally arrived in a neighborhood that I had never been in before. It was rather alarming. I was ushered into a restaurant, where my arrival was greeted with cries of, "SURPRISE!" and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Granted, I had known about this party before the invitations had even gone out, but I am told my reaction was something like this:
Aaaaanyway, moving past that, I looked around and realized that, seated around the center table, were my dearest darlingest bestest friends! Before I could make it over to them, I was passed from arm to arm, hugged and kissed and petted by people who see me every day of their lives and yet acted like I was returning from a year-long journey to the Amazon. I roamed around, examining everything. The centerpieces were made out of Playbills from my favorite shows - Spring Awakening, Grey Gardens, Hairspray, In the Heights, and August: Osage County. My table had the Spring Awakening one, and I am told that was no accident. And there were cookies! Dear Lord, COOKIES! They were shaped like Spring Awakening and Phantom Playbills. After dinner, I was obliged to take 397578364589723645782645782 photos with every single person in the room, not including the two waitresses. Coincidentally, one of my presents was a camera that I named Fiona. Fiona has a turbo-flash, so I was blind by the end of the night. When the spots in front of my eyes had cleared up, they brought out the cake. I have never seen something so perfectly marvelous in my life! It was round, two-tiered, white with red polka dots, and decked out with Playbills from all the current Broadway shows plus Grey Gardens and Little Women. Cue 453453845345 more pictures. Well, I was just pleased as punch, from my tacky tiara right down to the ruffles on my shoes.

When I got back home, I started opening my presents. To the best of my recollection, I have received:

A beautiful Swarovski crystal necklace, customized Twilight sneakers, Blue Man Group tickets, Coach wristlet, Coach pocketbook, two bracelets, and money which I am going to use to fund a trip to Blithe Spirit and possibly a return visit to August: Osage County.

Before I go, I am morally obligated to post this video. Yes, that's Taylor Swift as Annie. While we're on the subject on Taylor Swift, I must show you my latest theory, direct on the heels of the Joe Jonas Looks Like Alice Cullen Revelation.

totally sounds like

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