Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Hit List

Welcome back, suckers. I think I have a fever, which would explain why I'm sitting here talking to you fine people instead of sitting in a crowded classroom digesting government propaganda. Have no fear, friends. I never let school interfere with my education.

So Sunday's the flea market, and the unofficial start to my winter Broadway season. I haven't booked anything yet, but I'm thinking this is what's gonna be on the docket:

Streetcar with Cate Blanchett
Superior Donuts
A Little Night Music
Next to Normal

As you can see, I'm going pretty deep and dark this time around. And, much as I'm fighting it, I know sooner or later I'm going to end up at Bye Bye Birdie. This is not okay with me.

Next: The 39 Steps is finally closing. I don't wish harm on anybody or any show, but I will say this: About freaking time. On another note, it was confirmed today that Angela Lansbury is going to be in Night Music. I am so happy I could just jump up and click my heels together. Except I won't, because I know for a fact I can't do that. Seriously. I tried it once, and it didn't end well.

Yesterday afternoon, I made the fatal mistake of telling someone I've never seen Beauty and the Beast. I think this person is now convinced that I had a deprived childhood. Trust me, folks, I didn't. Baby Blogger was too busy belting Tomorrow from Annie and traipsing around the living room to You Gotta Get a Gimmick to pay much attention to stuff other kids liked. This is kind of embarrassing: When I was five I wanted to be a stripper because my parents let me watch Gypsy. I made my mom get me a plastic trumpet so I could be like Miss Mazeppa, and at Christmas I would hang ornaments on myself and pretend to be Miss Electra. Jeez. Childhood was great.

So, in order to satiate the crowds who are calling for my cinematic blood, here it is: The List of Movies I've Never Seen

Beauty and the Beast
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
It's a Wonderful Life
Citizen Kane
It Happened One Night
anything from Star Wars, Rocky, or Indiana Jones

I don't feel particularly deprived. By the time I was six I was watching The Sound of Music and Bye Bye Birdie. I don't consider missing out on 'classic' Disney movies to be that great a loss. Whatever. I saw Streetcar at a very young age, and that is all the movie I've ever needed.

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