The day started off with the three-legged race. I stood patiently while Lenora tied a rope around our ankles. After we had practiced walking around and I had made the necessary SIDE SHOW comparisons, I started complaining that the rope was digging into my leg. Here's the thing, folks. When Lenora bent down to loosen it, she couldn't get the knot out. Immediately I started flashing back to every single sitcom that ever featured an episode where two characters get handcuffed together. Once we found out we were trapped, the rope seemed to hurt even more. After we found out we had to go first, the pain was excruciating. When we finally managed to limp back to the finish line, I came up with the idea of taking my shoe off. I managed to pull my foot out, but not without almost cutting off the circulation in Lenora's ankle. (Sorry about that.) Also, the fact that everyone around us seemed to find our predicament absolutely hilarious goes without saying. Lesson learned: Daisy and Violet Hilton deserve more credit than they get.
Next was the water balloon toss. Let it be known that I was a water balloon toss aficionado in my younger years. Block parties and summer birthdays were chances for me to show off my talents to awed crowds. It's too bad there's no X Games of water balloon tossing. Except I don't know what happened to me. I am utterly ashamed to admit that I lasted for about fifteen tosses, back and forth. I also happened to be the one who dropped it. At least mine exploded on the ground, not all over me. As I was walking away, the girl next to me got hit with a balloon. Most of the water hit me. Good times.
After that was the relay race, and then the wheelbarrow race. Neither went very well. We'll
leave it at that.
The scavenger hunt was, to put it lightly, a death match. I managed to pick up a pom-pom. I was proud of myself. People were pushing, shoving, and stealing from each other. It ended with me sneaking through a forest, my face painted Lord of the Flies-style. All of a sudden I heard an unearthly shrieking, and someone yelled, "THAT WAS MINE, DAMN IT!" Healthy competition. Gotta love it.
Next came lunch, at which time I was asked to babysit my friend's salad while she went off in search of a fork. It's a salad. It's not going anywhere.
After lunch we played Jeopardy, and I was one of five people chosen to represent my team. One of the categories was Snapple Facts. In front of 450 people, I got to show off the fact that I knew that Alaska has the highest percentage of people who walk to work. And yet somehow I was flamed for not knowing that Kurt Cobain had an imaginary friend who was shipped off to Vietnam. Clearly, this was the sole reason that my team came in dead last. I was more shattered than the time I found out Kacie Sheik likes to scream a lot, therefore ruining one of my favorite songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVwZTTrQDcQ&feature=related But they kept the line about being radioactive. I cannot complain.
Anyway, before I go, yesterday I saw a high school performance of Beauty and the Beast. Dear Beast: You're not very good. At all. Dear Belle: Please, dear, rein in the vibrato. You're not Lotte Lenya. Dear Lumiere: You, however, were awesome.
Oh, I almost forgot! Today's 5/15, as in the song from Grey Gardens. Love that song. "Though perhaps I've overspent a bit, the man who's gonna pay for it is arriving on the five-fifteen!" Grey Gardens has a beautiful score, but The Five-Fifteen is definitely one of its greats.
Also, rumors are cropping up that Lea Michele will be playing Elphaba in Wicked some time soon. Interesting. Okay, I'm gonna take a pratfall. Let's get one thing straight. I'm no Wicked fan. But back in '07, when the Michele-Elphaba rumors were swirling, the Spring Awakening fan in me swore that if she ever played the role I would go see her. Two years later, I really wouldn't care if she played Elphaba. But I said I would go if she ever played it, and, if the rumors are true, go I will.
This, however, better never happen in my lifetime. Alice Ripley as Elphaba. How 'bout no.