Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sad News

Spring Awakening in the West End is closing on May 30. Apparently, it's been playing to 200 in a house that can hold 1100. It's been nine weeks. Nine weeks. Damn uptight Brits. You liked Equus, you couldn't make a little room for Spring Awakening? I'm wearing my disappointed face. Apparently, Grease, Hairspray, Dirty Dancing, Wicked, and Mamma Mia are flourishing over there. I'm starting to sense a pattern. Oh, well. Keep your unbearably fluffy stuff, Britain! You'll never get Next to Normal. So there.

On the other hand, full casting was just announced for The Addams Family musical. It's got Bebe Neuwirth, Nathan Lane, Jackie Hoffman, Krysta Rodriguez, and Carolee Carmello, who is probably just pleased as punch to be free of Mamma Mia. This one's gonna be another Shrek - a show I see just for the cast. Hopefully it won't follow in the footsteps of its mediocre forefather. Come on, people. This cast has massive talent. USE IT. Give Jackie Hoffman a solo. Let her talk to the audience. Give her the freedom to ad lib. You've got golden opportunities here. Don't waste 'em.

Here we have a poster for an equal marriage rights rally on Sunday. Which brings me to another issue. I'm a Catholic Democrat. The horror. It's more confusing than being Michael Jackson's son. Ah, Michael. Who else can be born a poor black boy and die a rich white woman? Anyway, I happen to be pro-gay marriage. There I said it. Bust out the flamethrowers. If two guys want to get married, who am I to stand in their way? This is America. We're supposed to present equal opportunities. So, pray tell, why are we putting other peoples' rights to a vote? I know, I know. The Catholic Church. But this is America, folks. Separation of church and state, equal rights for all. As a friend once told me, "You have to admit that the Catholic Church pretty f-cked up." I guess it is. Peace and love to everyone, except you because you're gay, and not you, you divorced heathen! Did I tell you guys that the pope decided to excommunicate a nine year old rape victim for getting an abortion? Did I tell you they decided not to excommunicate the guy who raped her? In what realm of thinking is that possibly okay? Sorry, but I don't think Jesus said, "Rape little children. It's cool. We'll turn the other cheek." I don't go for that. Which is why I'm going to this rally. Squint real hard and read the poster. Cheyenne Jackson, you say? Audra McDonald? Well, if you absolutely insist, I suppose I could try to squeeze in an appearance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAKo-i4jpQ I really like this video. It's so endearingly 50's, grooming young girls for the lives of vacuuming in pearls, repressed emotions, and quiet desperation that await them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5TJApnJ8X8&feature=related This one, however, is my absolute favorite. Acid: the drug of choice of the hot dog murderer. I had a dream like this once. I woke up in the hospital with a fever of 105. My personal favorite part is when she says she was "jacked up on marijuana." That explains so, so much. I may possibly love this video more than the one that features the Muppets singing Good Morning Starshine. Personally, these two videos alone are more effective than any anti-drug commercial the government could ever produce. Don't smoke pot. You'll wake up surrounded by Muppets and a grown man in a flowery shirt singing hippie gibberish.

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