Three weeks ago, I had a dream that Alice Ripley was out the day I had second row Next to Normal seats. Last night, dreams came true. And I don't want to talk about it. And I don't want to talk about her understudy, who didn't do it right at all. Why are you trying to be so funny, lady? It makes me feel like you are faking mental illness because you don't want to go to work. All in all, here is my summary of the whole situation - "This is f-cked. F-ck this."
In other, happier, less infuriating news, we did make it down to the Hair stagedoor. It was cold and it was awkward, and Sheik and Levy took freaking forever to come out. When they finally did elect to grace us with their presence, Lenora took it upon herself to tell them we were coming to their show at Joe's Pub. (Okay, I kinda encouraged that. I think the poor darlings are getting a bit desperate.) I did NOT, however, tell her to tell them that it was for my birthday! But she did. Because she is Lenora. Here's the thing - above all else, I hate drawing attention to myself at stagedoors. In fact, I think I'm growing out of the whole stagedoor fad. If I buy a ticket, you owe me a performance and nothing else. Ripley. (Poor dear must have forgotten to take her invincibility pill. My poor widdle shattered heart will have to mend itself.) Christ, I've digressed terribly. Anyway, here's what went down.
Lenora: "Hi. Great show. We'll be at your Joe's Pub concert."
Sheik: "Oh, really? I was just talking about that."
Lenora (indicates me): "Yeah, it's for her birthday."
Me, in head, rummaging in bag to avoid looking up: "Christ, Lenora, don't."
Sheik: "Aww, happy birthday."
Okay, so that one wasn't that painful. It gets worse and more uncomfortable.
Lenora: "Hi, Caissie. We'll be at Joe's Pub for her birthday."
Levy: "Oh, is it your birthday?"
Me: "No, my birthday passed."
Levy: "Oh. Well, we'll celebrate then."
I wish you wouldn't. Some other winning moments of the night - Vanessa Ray suddenly running back down the line and screamed, "JAMES LAPINE!" Lenora pointed out what I already knew - the girl IS Allison Case in every imaginable way. Only she does it better. Another great (?) moment was Kacie Sheik standing in the doorway and laughing like a hyena over something nobody else seemed to find funny. And then there was Allison Guinn. She was decked out in a yellow beret and horned rim glasses and had an autoharp on her back. God help us, Berri said something that made her laugh. She sounds like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ot6ZIzaXtg Oddly enough, I don't think I ever expected her to sound any other way.
Saw Jersey Boys on Friday. "Shall we their fond pageant see? Lord, what foolks these mortals be!"